Psych (TV Series)
Last Night Gus (2011)
Dulé Hill: Burton Guster
Quotes
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Woody the Coroner : [Has spent the night spooning Lassiter] Calm down, Peaches. Come back to bed.
Carlton Lassiter : [Startled] Whatever you think happened last night didn't happen because nothing happened, you got it?
Shawn Spencer : That's nice, Lassie. Way to belittle the man.
Woody the Coroner : Yeah, Detective, I do have feelings.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : What is all over your face?
Woody the Coroner : [Wipes it] Yeah I can't be sure. Oh god, you didn't see a small Colombian with a hook for an arm did you?
Burton 'Gus' Guster : No.
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Carlton Lassiter : Obviously, we knew the victim.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : Well, we all knew the victim, but you were the one who shot him.
Carlton Lassiter : You had the dead guy's phone.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : Shawn was wearing the man's sandals.
Shawn Spencer : Huh, I was hoping you guys didn't notice that.
Woody the Coroner : Look, I don't care if we did kill this guy, I'm just happy to be a part of it.
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Woody the Coroner : [re: their test results] Okay, first off, I didn't realize peote stayed in your system that many years. I have only myself and my then-girlfriend, Lollipop, to blame. Secondly, Guster, your cholesterol is really high.
Shawn Spencer : Man, I told you eating something called "stick of butter in a bun" was a bad idea.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : I can't help it, Shawn. My body craves buttery goodness.
Shawn Spencer : You're buttery.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : You know that's right.
Woody the Coroner : Alright now, here's the skinny. We all had copious amounts of silvia divanorum in our system. It's a psychoactive herb that can cause hallucination and disassociative effects. We were all drugged at that bar.
Carlton Lassiter : I knew it!
Woody the Coroner : However, our victim had no trace of the drug at all. He was clean.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : Why would someone spike our drink but not his?
Carlton Lassiter : Well clearly someone was trying to take advantage of us sexually. Or at least me.
Shawn Spencer : Not last night, Lassie.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : Or this last decade.
Shawn Spencer : I'm sensing that we were recipients of drugs that were intended for a pair of women.
Carlton Lassiter : Alright. Let's hit that bar.
Woody the Coroner : Yeah, let's shake 'em down.
[Everyone looks at him]
Woody the Coroner : What? No shake down?