Game of Thrones (TV Series)

Walk of Punishment (2013)

Daniel Portman: Podrick Payne

Quotes 

• Tyrion Lannister : Ah, the return of the conquering hero.

  [Tyrion grins] 

  Tyrion Lannister : Does he have a little jaunt in his step?

  Bronn : The lad's practically skipping.

  Tyrion Lannister : You were gone a long time. I trust you got your money's worth - or should I say my money's worth.

  [Podrick places a satchel of gold on the desk] 

  Tyrion Lannister : It was a gift, Podrick! This is more than I give you in a year.

  Bronn : He's a squire. You don't pay him.

  Tyrion Lannister : Oh. Then it's much more than I give you in a year.

  Podrick Payne : They wouldn't take it, milord.

  Bronn : [confused]  Maybe they're trying to curry some favor with the new Master of Coin?

  Tyrion Lannister : Have you ever known a whore to turn down gold? They're happy enough to take it when I give it to them.

  Bronn : [looks at Podrick]  What did you tell them?

  Podrick Payne : I didn't tell them anything.

  Tyrion Lannister : What did you do to them?

  Podrick Payne : Lots of things.

  Tyrion Lannister : And they seemed to like these things?

  Podrick Payne : Yes, milord.

  Bronn : Of course they seemed to like it. They're paid to seem to like it.

  Tyrion Lannister : Only they weren't paid.

  Bronn : What're you saying? These ladies enjoyed him so much they gave him the time for free?

  Tyrion Lannister : Is that what you're telling us?

  [Podrick grins] 

  Tyrion Lannister : Sit down, Podrick.

  [Tyrion pours some wine] 

  Tyrion Lannister : We're going to need details. Copious details.

• [Tyrion, Bronn and Podrick walk through Littlefinger's brothel with a wagon filled with the kingdom's ledgers] 

  Tyrion Lannister : Podrick?

  Podrick Payne : Yes, my lord?

  Tyrion Lannister : After a long consultation with my colleague, Ser Bronn, I've finally found a suitable reward for the services you've provided over and above what might be considered reasonable. Tell me, Pod...

  [they enter a different room of the brothel] 

  Tyrion Lannister : ...have you ever been with a woman?

  Podrick Payne : No, my lord.

  Tyrion Lannister : Wonderful. Genna specializes in first-timers.

  [a curtain pulls back to reveal a naked courtesan] 

  Bronn : She's not bad with second-timers, either.

  Podrick Payne : Uh, my Lord...

  Tyrion Lannister : A fair enough repayment for putting your spear through my would-be killer's face, wouldn't you say? Now, as it happens Marei...

  [Genna approaches Pod, caressing him. He walks backwards, embarrassed. Another curtain opens to reveal another naked courtesan] 

  Tyrion Lannister : ...is quite the spear-handler herself. She's here to thank you for staying by my side as the battle raged all around us.

  Marei : He's handsome. You didn't tell me he was handsome.

  Tyrion Lannister : Kayla...

  [Marei approaches Pod. She and Marei start to strip him. A third curtain opens to reveal a very flexible courtesan] 

  Tyrion Lannister : ...is famous from here to Volantis... in certain circles. One of four women in the world who can perform a proper Meereenese Knot.

  Podrick Payne : [overwhelmed]  My Lord, I...

  [Kayla spreads her legs, demonstrating just how flexible she is] 

  Tyrion Lannister : She's here to thank you for being a thoroughly respectful fellow who's never once failed to address me as "my Lord." Be back in time for my supper.

  [Tyrion puts a bag of gold on the table and leaves with Bronn and the ledgers] 

  Bronn : Pace yourself, lad.