Reviews

Hop makes you want to stab yourself in the leg. Hop is a stupid and idiotic movie with hardly any laughs. You got jelly bean pooping Easter bunnies, horrible dialogue, and weak characters with a touch of cuteness. What we have here is a Christmas movie disguised as the first ever Easter themed movie. The film starts with the Easter Bunny giving his son E.B. a tour of the Easter factory with chicks as elves and the Easter Bunny as Santa Claus. Twenty Years later, E.B. runs away from Easter Island to California because he wants to be a drummer and not the Easter Bunny. He later gets hit by an out of work slacker named Fred O'Hare. As Fred struggles with the world's worst house guest, both learn how to grow up and the must save Easter from a power-mad chick named Carlos. The CGI is hilarious. Do they give Razzles to animation. The CGI is so bad because when the CGI is mixed with the live action, it seams so fake. Here's a film that gives cuteness a bad name. The creators must found it under their fingernails and mistake it as a bright idea. Although I must give points to the film because it's better than Alvin but that's way far from recommendation I decided not to. All of this means that Hop is not suitable for people under seven. Let me close with this warning. Young men, if your friend likes this crap, tell him or her that they are IDIOTS!!! Young women, if your date also likes this crap, BREAK UP WITH HIM!!!

Taking a trip in The Limitless Express is like a two hour simulator ride that feels like an hour. There are twist and turns. So step right up and take The Limitless Express only $10.00 per ticket. The ride's dialogue is half narrating and half acting (how's that for being original). Let me tell you the plot before going to the ride. The film starts with a man named Eddie Mora (played be The Hangover's Bradley Cooper) about to commit suicide. Why? Well this story is mainly told through flashback. He was a writer with a bad case of writer's block (he only has one word in his book), his wife just broke up with him, and his brother in law came and gives him a drug called NZT-48 (he said that it's FDA approved but later we find out he stole it from the lab so its illegal). Eddie however decides to take it and became smarter in a few minutes. The drug however has some serious side effects that includes that if you stop taking NZT-48 you die, blackouts and becomes addicted to the drug as in one sequence Eddie murders a person and (don't say I didn't warn you) drinks his blood because his blood has the formula for NZT-48. This ride is well acted, has mind bending visuals (which makes it's $27 million dollar budget look like $70 million), and it's fast paced. So go on to Limitless. Warning: there are possible side effects that includes motion sickness and a possible angry complain to the writer that his script is uneven.

"The Grid, a world of endless possibilities. More Beautiful and dangerous than I ever imagine." Sorry to interrupt Jeff Bridges but I will like to warn you about the dangers you are about to take after you finish you talk with your son Sam Flynn and my review. You a character named Kevin Flynn in a big film called Tron: Legacy (I call it TR2N) a sequel to the original 1982 cult film. It starts with your talk (the one I interrupted) with your son Sam Flynn about your creation called The Grid. You come back to your arcade and in your son's point of view, vanished (or killed, or buried alive but you already been through that (shutters)). 20 years later, Sam Flynn as an adult (don't ever let me get started on how he grown up without you) went looking you you and Blam went into The Grid, the place you been trapped in for 20 years (don't worry you aged but your program did and you ran into him at the end (hence my tittle it got creepy)). How did you got trapped Bridges, your creation Clu2 turned against you because of a species called ISOs (stand for Isomorphic algorithms). Anyway Clu2 runs into Sam, almost killed him in a Light Cycle match, saved by the last ISO named Quorra, and at the end, you and the other Bridges pixalated. I had you admitted, I was entertained like Snoopy meeting Garfield in a mirror on a Monday, but you have your flaws. You have dazzling 3D visuals and score (both snubbed the the Academy Awards) but your weak script didn't known where to put the plot. The result was an uneven band of a father and son making out with a well balanced script with stronger character. So go ahead Bridges, do the story and get pixalated at the end, I don't care because I'm already busy writing a letter to the Oscars to make a special award for it's visuals and it's electric score, but don't say that I didn't warn you. Bye Jeff Bridges and say hello to Quorra for me if you have a chance.

I will first tell you this, this is better than Tron Legacy by a little but still better. The other thing is the film is a shot by shot adaption, it copy's everything from the novel (and I mean everything). Scott Pilgrim is about a man fighting for a woman while dating a woman (also way better than The Dilemma in so many ways). While fighting, Scott learns the error of his ways. The film is for the comic book fans, rock and roll fans, and moviegoers who are looking for a sexy adventure, but it's not for regular moviegoers who are seeing the film out of curiosity. Which is (and the weirdness) only played a little in the bomb-ness of the film but the main guy to blame is Edgar Wright, The Director of Scott Pilgrim. Edgar's last two movies were all R rating and probably tell parents not to see this film with their kids. Anyway, pay to see Tron Legacy but give a kidney to see Scott Pilgrim vs. The World (figure of speech).

For Martian Luther King, Jr. weekend you have two comedies both gotten mix reviews for critics and audience, The Dilemma and The Green Hornet. So what do I think it's better, let me tell you by dividing the movies into different reviews (although I already written a review for The Dilemma but you could see the whole thing on its blog).

The Dilemma: The Dilemma has a predictable and familiar plot about a man who is debating of to tell his friend that his wife is cheating on him. It's hardly funny and more drama.

The Green Hornet: The Green Hornet was more of an success except it's script and 3D that makes you want to go to an eye doctor because you think you have blurry vision from watching the movie. The film's plot of which is more action comedy than superhero movie is about a son of a wealthy father who decides with his assistant to become crime fighters by breaking the law to protect it, only to find a political scandal that is connected to his father's death. The film is funnier than The Dilemma, visually (not the 3D) striking, and entertaining.

So what do I think is better? I gave The Dilemma 4/10 (C-) and The Green Hornet 7/10 (B). So the winner is The Green Hornet.

Usually before the movie, I only saw 1 Coen Brother film and that's O Brother. Now I'm a big fan of the original John Wayne film (although it could been more faithful to the novel) so when I heard the New True Grit would come out on Christmas, I was full of hype and when I walked out when the film was over, it lived to it. It was more faithful to the novel itself and it hardly ever change the film point of view. The film is about a 14 year old girl named Mattie Ross who hires an alcoholic U.S. Marshal named Rooster Cogburn to go after Tom Chaney who killed her father and is hiding in Indian territory. Not knowing the land well, Cogburn also hired a Texas Ranger named Laboeuf (pronounce as La-Beef) to help him with the land (he departs a few times in the film). Meanwhile, Mr. Cogburn is also after a man named "Lucky" Ned Peppers who is with Tom Chaney. The film (some of you will find it a little slow) is well made which is worthy for Oscar nominations (lets hope it doesn't snub it like the Golden Globes or there will be pain) so see it. Warning: besides the PG-13 rating, The film has violence and blood that pushes it to an R rating so you have the right to be surprised of it's bloody violence. Trust me I was surprised all right.

I will like to tread carefully and not judge a book by it's cover and to tell you who the film is, who is not, and the plot. It's simple, a man isn't sure if he should tell his friend that his wife is cheating on him by another man and boy that's predictable (and similar to The Simpson's episode The Sweetish Apu) although there are a few surprises. The film is for the couples who are looking for romance and a comeback from Vince Vaughn and Kevin James (trust me with this, after their last movie, they found it). The film is not (like me) people who are starving for a film that's funny throughout the film. The film is also not for gays and lesbians because of the line "Electric cars are gay" (yes is still in the movie). Anyway Ron Howard should stick to drama, Kevin James should stick to TV shows, and Vince Vaughn should stick to stand up. However for me, I found it better than The Other Guys which for me, is the worst film ever made and that Adam McKay should go to **** because of that movie.

Usually I like The Simpson's because unlike Family Guy, it doesn't go heavy on adult humor. but in this episode, the adult humor turned into a Glee episode. First it showed injuries. Then when Comic Book Guy tells Bart and Lisa about Bart's sword shaped scar, it turns into a Jackass episode only with panic. If you think this is too much for a Simpson episode, you should see the ending of the episode after Marge breaks up with The Cool Moms, they revealed to be secretly GAY and showed, um, if you saw the Glee episode Duets, you know what I mean. Besides the inappropriate stuff, the episode was funny and good just don't let us see anymore on screen homosexuality.