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Madame Web (2024)
1/10
11/10 on the Gods of Egypt scale
20 March 2024
This is the first film to break my Gods of Egypt scoring system and deserves a recording breaking 11/10.

If you haven't guessed already, a high score on this system is not a good thing.

Despite tying, I could not find one redeeming feature about this film.

The acting is almost unbearable, the casting is awful, the writing is dreadful, lazy and basic, the plot (haha plot) is non-existant, the editing is woeful.

I could go on, but what's the point.

It's as if the film was made by people random ideas out of a hat and the hat only had bad ideas in it.

Thing film has one achievement though. It managed to go beyond and discover a whole new realm of bad.

Chew on some sandpaper instead. It'll be more fun.
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Damsel (2024)
4/10
Ok for a Sunday afternoon... just
10 March 2024
Another 'had all the right ingredients but didn't deliver' film.

Overall this film gets a pass just because it's a some what enjoyable fantasy adventure.

But it is barely scrapes through getting that pass.

First off, this is painfully predictable. If you don't have the entire plot figured out soon into it, then you mustn't have been paying attention.

The acting and dialog is so bad and cheesy it's laughable. Which is quite surprising considering some of the cast. Seriously, it feels like amateur hour at times.

All in all, it's poor attempt at a fantasy action adventure.

So if you have absolutely nothing to do on a Sunday afternoon and want to switch off for a couple of hours, then sure, this will pass the time. Just don't expect much.
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Fool Me Once (2024)
1/10
Don't be fooled, it's terrible
4 January 2024
The more I think about how this series progressed, the more it annoys me.

It starts as a fairly interesting thriller, but there are early signs of shoddy acting and a souless feeling to it all.

But then as it progresses, it spirals into absolutely atrocious acting, a complete mess of unnecessary plot twist upon plot twist which eventually crescendos into an overall ridiculous story.

If the book is good, then this series gave it no justice at all.

It just seems to get more and more stupid and unbelievable the further you get into it.

I had to make myself finish watching just to see how bad it got.

And ohhhh boy, it got really bad.
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4/10
I just want good sci-fi
22 December 2023
I wanted this to be good so badly. Like really badly.

Other than the world design and effects, there really isn't much else to salvage from it.

In true Snyder style we've got lens flare and slow motion, but this time he's dialled it up over the top.

Some of the action scenes are absolutely ruined from way too much diving in and out of slow motion.

The biggest disappointment is the writing.

The first 70% of the film is absolutely a waste of time and not needed.

You don't find out most of the characters actual relevance until the back end of the film.

Everything before that is a mixture of utterly pointless painfully boring scenes done for the sole purpose of filler.

Looks great, but that's all.
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The Creator (2023)
4/10
Badly acted snoozefest
16 November 2023
There's nothing worse than a film that grabs your interest and makes you look forward to it, to then let you down with utter disappointment.

The Creator is one of those films.

The good It's visually stunning, with amazing effects, settings, scenery, vehicles, motion capture, character design etc. It definitely delivers on the eye and ear candy.

The bad The writing is woefully lazy with potholes littered everywhere.

The pacing is painfully slow. It livens up here and there with action scenes, but overall it never really gets going into the sci-fi adventure I hoped for.

A lot of scenes feel disjointed and pointless at times.

The cast is mostly terrible with actors delivering either deadpanned or over the top hammy performances.

The entire premise of the gun-ho US Army marching across continents unopposed at all is just downright ludicrous and doesn't fit with the world it's based in at all.

I'm summary, looks great but also an utter snoozefest.

So disappointed.
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Frasier (2023– )
4/10
All goof and no wit
27 October 2023
Well done on tarnishing a classic series.

The success of the original series was down to the cast and the writing. It was a perfect balance of wit, comedy, subtle drama with excellent characters portrayed by great actors.

I'm afraid this new venture barely holds a candle to the original.

It's just a goofy comedy full of cheap laughs and deadpan one liners.

And oh dear the cast, whoof, what a disappointment. Other than Kelsey Grammer and Nicholas Lyndhurst, it's complete amateur hour.

Some of the characters are just over the top and annoying as hell, especially the nephew and son.

I swear I cringe every time the nephew is in a scene.

Dear god the audience laughter. It's not genuine at all and is clearly prompted and so exaggerated.

It's generally ok as a mediocre comedy if you've got nothing else to watch, but if you're a serious fan of the original, prepare to be disappointed.
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The Witcher (2019– )
6/10
I see why Henry Cavill left
1 July 2023
What can I say... Seasons 1 & 2 were excellent.

Solid writing with enough following to the source material.

Really good cast and acting.

Topped with some decent special effects and set design resulted in a very enjoyable dark fantasy adventure.

Then, along came season 3.

Oh dear... oh dear oh dear oh dear.

It feels as if they're trying to achieve the same as the first two seasons but with half the budget and deplorable writing.

Every scene feels cheapened and like a soap opera.

What on earth happened?

No wonder Henry Cavill left. This is nowhere near the caliber if the first two seasons and an epic disappointment.

The forth season will undoubtedly be doomed to failuref this is anything to go by.

Seasons 1 & 2 = 8/10 Season 3 = 5/10.
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4/10
Painfully dumb, but pretty to look at
21 April 2023
I was looking forward to this as I quite enjoyed the first one.

Oh dear, oh dear.

This film is an utter mess.

The script and screenplay are just plain stupid and all over the place. I swear this makes Armageddon feel like a factual documentary in comparison.

Also, it seems like an editing nightmare. The pacing is so erratic and coherence is almost nonexistent at times.

I did have to giggle at the repeated pro-China/anti-west digs throughout the film. Quite silly.

The one saving grace are the special effects and action. They are spectacular at times.

A good example of this is the drone attack on the space bridge. It really is amazing.

It's all for nothing though, as despite how good it looks, you can't escape the sheer stupidity of the story.
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Shadow and Bone (2021–2023)
5/10
Season 1 yay, season 2 boooo
22 March 2023
Well that was annoying.

I really enjoyed the first season, but half way through the second season it all went wrong.

So season 1 had solid screenplay, writing, acting, effects and felt like a great dark fantasy adventure.

Little bits of wit and humour woven in here and there resulted in a well balanced introduction into the backstory, characters and entire premise of the world.

Then along comes season 2.

It's continues pretty much as good as the first and all is good, but... about halfway through the season there's a really weird but clear shift.

All of a sudden it becomes incredibly cheesy, poorly acted, over theatrical, effects somehow get noticeably poorer and overall results in it becoming not very interesting at all.

It's almost as if someone else took over but with half the budget.

By the end of it, I had zero interest in the plot or the characters and just wanted it to hurry up and end.

Season 1 gets a solid 7, but season 2 drags it down to a 5.
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Cocaine Bear (2023)
5/10
How the hell did they mess this up?
20 March 2023
I strapped myself in fully expecting an over the top gruesome fun comedy.

Somehow, even with the premise of a cocaine infused bear on a killer rampage, they ended up making an absolute snooze-fest.

How the hell do you mess that up?

There was the occasional decent laugh, but the only redeeming feature of the film was the soundtrack.

At times there's absolutely next to nothing happening and there is no coherent flow to the writing. It's like a whole bunch of scenes were written purely to pad out the whole thing so it had a decent running time.

Other than that it was just a boring barrel of cheap badly written corny laughs.

Much disappoint.
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Willow (2022–2023)
5/10
Decidedly unimpressive
13 January 2023
Another prime example of taking a really good premise and executing it badly.

If the entire series had been more like the last episode it would have had a fighting chance at being good.

Sadly it had too much bad writing/acting, terrible fight choreography and a lot of general boredom.

There was also a distinct impression that quite a bit was cut for the episodes.

This seemed to be evident where on multiple occasions it felt like an entire scene had been missed, or something happened with little to no explanation, but the characters would have full knowledge of what was going on.

The flow of the story made no sense a lot of the time.

Also, just to add. People need to take Warrick Davis off a pedestal.

His best acting accomplishment is R2D2, where he sat in a tube and said nothing.
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The Rig (2023– )
3/10
If this is a success then it's rigged
9 January 2023
I was intrigued by the trailer and geared myself up for what looked like a psychological horror, despite appearing to look rough around the edges.

The only horror was having to deal with a serious let down of a series.

It's not too bad in the first couple of episodes. Decent amounts of mystery and suspense with passable acting.

Unfortunately after that the rails well and truly come off.

The writing is god awful and scenes that were supposed to be deathly serious came off as laughable with atrocious dialogue and horrifically bad acting.

The characters make such epically bad decisions throughout the entire series to the point that it's infuriating to watch.

To top it off, the special effects are terrible. Granted it's possible that it's all they had the budget for, but it doesn't change the fact they're really bad by modern standards.

Good premise, but executed so badly.
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1/10
When you order The Witcher from Wish
26 December 2022
Well, considering how much I adored The Witcher series, this is absolutely terrible.

When you compare them, it absolutely pales in comparison.

The pacing is all over the place as there's simply too much too fit into so few episodes, which results in a lack of any disearnable coherence.

It's doesn't feel like you're in the same world in any way shape of form.

It's disappointing to see something so blatantly ruined to this extent

Atrocious writing, sub par acting, budget props/set design and sfx.

The whole thing feels cheap and amateurish.

I've seen soap operas with better production values.

A complete and utter let down.
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Prey (I) (2022)
8/10
Best one since the first two
5 August 2022
Yup, this one is definitely the best Predator film since 1 & 2.

Slow burn at the start, but it's all scene setting done well.

Great performances all round, good SFX and cinematography.

Plus the fact they slightly gimped the Predator tech to reflect the timeline was a nice touch.
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The Orville (2017–2022)
6/10
Spoiled by season 3 train wreck
10 June 2022
As it stood with seasons 1 and 2, I was at an 8/10.

What sold it for me with The Orville was the comedy. It was a tongue in cheek homage to Star Trek and it worked really well that way. Some really good comedy with enjoyable sci-fi and good writing.

Unfortunately season 3 is devoid of all of the comedy and is full of really really poor writing.

This just leaves it as a middle of the road Star Trek clone and overall not worth more than a 6/10.

Real shame.
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Emergency (2022)
7/10
Worth a watch
30 May 2022
Firstly, the the hate reviews are clearly coming from the anti-woke brigade that clearly don't even understand what woke means if it hit them in the face.

Ok, so on to the film.

I was pleasantly surprised with this one.

Starts off as a college buddy comedy, but not full blown laugh out loud levels.

It's got some good laughs here and there but is quite witty as well.

The film very slowly starts to gives things a more serious feel from about half way through.

By the end it does make a clear social statement, there's no denying that.

However it's a very real and accurate social statement.

People that don't like the truth just hide behind hate reviews and think they're achieving something, when all they're doing is embarrassing themselves.

The film has decent production value and well cast.

Pretty decent performances all round as well.
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Halo (2022– )
7/10
Shaky start, but improved
19 May 2022
This series had a terrible start, like really bad.

Episode 1 did nothing but come off as a extremely budget and very badly acted.

It took 2 or 3 episodes for the momentum to kick in and things to start becoming at least interesting.

I'm not going to lie, it's not the series I wanted, but I didn't hate it.

Any die hard Halo fans wanting something that closely follows the lore are going to be disappointed.

However, as far as half decent sci-fi based around Halo, it's pretty enjoyable for what it is despite being a bit rough around the edges.
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10/10
A true classic
18 May 2022
I adore absolutely everything about this film. It was an utter delight to watch.

It's a rollercoaster of action, comedy, drama, bonkers madness, adventure, sci-fi, introspect, discovery and human nature all rolled into a stunning display of cinematography with very strong performances from everyone.

All cast members were superb and Michelle Yeoh delivered the performance of her career.

I honestly cannot fault this film.

P.s. Not a fake review. Seems some people can't handle a film that goes over their head getting good reviews.
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Angels of Death (2021– )
8/10
Dark, gritty, grim, 40K
5 February 2022
This series exceeded my expectations.

I felt it really represented what life is like for a Blood Angel.

From the start to the end it's a dark, chaotic fight for blood and honour.

The writing and voice acting are excellent and the atmosphere is dark and gripping.

What helps is the use of black and white for everything except red for blood and their armour. It really does compliment the whole feel of the series.

While the CGI is mostly good, there are moments where it's lacking. Like the face animations being a bit clunky.

My main gripe is the shaky cam view . At times it's excessive but luckily doesn't happen all the time.

Overall, it's an engaging glimpse into the gritty life as a Blood Angel.
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Hammer and Bolter (2021– )
7/10
There's more to a show than just animation
5 February 2022
Let's get this out of the way.

The animation is substandard, which is a shame, as everything else about this series is great!

Anyone not familiar with 40K will probably struggle to understand all of the episodes, as some of them are deep rooted in lore.

The writing, sound design, voice acting and art stye are all really good.

I'm a big 40K fan and really enjoyed it, just a shame about the animation.
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Eternals (2021)
5/10
Bags of potential that fell flat
18 January 2022
This film should have been great, like really great.

They had all the ingredients to make something epic, but sadly the final product was middle of the road blandness that was fairly boring.

What's more confusing is that on paper, just the cast alone should have at least given us great performances.

What we actually got were actors that seemed they couldn't be bothered. So many lack luster performances and sometimes painfully cheesy.

On the plus side, the special effects were pretty good and there was some half way decent action set pieces and enjoyable comic relief at times.

Overall, a boring badly acted bland by the numbers film.
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The Book of Boba Fett (2021–2022)
6/10
This is half of the series you're looking for
29 December 2021
Final edit - the finale was a fairly decent episode. The action set pieces were well done, but the writing and acting for this one wasn't quite as good as the previous two episodes. Overall I can't give the series anything higher than a 6/10 because the first four episodes just weren't very good at all. Too little, too late

Edit 5 - episode 6 is another very strong one. Great engaging story, great acting, suspense and cast. It's still a shame that we had to go through 4 rubbish episodes for this series to become enjoyable. This week is an 8/10, but the series overall is still a 6.

Edit 4 - well wadaya know, different cast, different director and all of a sudden we have an amazing episode. It's fairly annoying that the first episode without Boba Fett in it is by far the best one. On its own, this episode is 9/10. However, one good episode does not make a good series. Score bumped up to a 6

Edit 3 - so episode 4 continues with the same general boredom, terrible dialogue and shoddy acting. They are ruining one the best characters in Star Wars. Down to a 4

Edit 2 - oh dear, episode 3 is another stinker. We've gone straight back to bad writing, shoddy acting, woeful dialogue and epic amounts of nothing happening. Straight back from a 7 down to a 5

Edit 1 - after episode 2, things have improved a bit. A much more engaging episode with good action set pieces and better story. Gone from a 5 to a 7

Ok, so this is based off the first episode alone and I'll adjust my review accordingly as the episodes get released.

My oh my what a snooze fest for an opening episode.

The writing feels empty, fight scenes when they were ambushed were terrible and the acting feels fairly substandard as well

I want to get to hooked on a first episode, not bored to sleep

Here's to hoping it improves A LOT in the next episodes.
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2/10
There's bad and then there's this film.
22 December 2021
The original Matrix is the only good film out of all four.

But this is truly awful.

The writing is a mess and I don't mean confusing, it's just really badly written and sooooo boring.

I never felt engaged with any of the characters at any point of the film.

What's worse is that I thought "ah well, at least we'll get some good fight scenes and special effects".

Oh boy was I wrong!

The fight choreography and cinematography were really sub par during all of the action. It felt like amateur hour.

I expected this film to be middle of the road. It's a lot worse than that.
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Cowboy Bebop (2021)
3/10
Disappointing on so many levels
19 November 2021
Oh boy, what a mess.

I'm a big fan of the original and they truly messed up with this.

The acting is amateur hour, the script/writing is dreadful and the fight choreography is woeful.

There is an essence to Cowboy Bebop, that makes it what it is and they completely failed on that altogether.

It honestly feels like a fan made film that had some money to spend on special effects.

Any fans of the anime are going to be sorely disappointed.
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Arcane (2021– )
10/10
What's not to like!
7 November 2021
Every so often something comes along that's flawless.

I'm not a particular big fan of League of Legends, but I am absolutely in love with this series.

The animation and artwork are absolutely beautiful.

The script and writing are full of intrigue and interest.

The characters have been perfectly cast and very well acted.

From the opening scene of the first episode I've been gripped all the way through.

A well deserved 10/10.
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