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Reviews
Dashcam (2021)
Is she the worst? Yes. Is she funny? Also yes.
Ok most people seem to not understand. You are NOT supposed to like this character. That was on purpose. If I met her in real life, I would hate her so much. But watching her in a movie not giving a F, and her ridiculous potty mouth (like Sweet Dee but way over exaggerated) and making her terrible, cringy, but hilarious raps through the whole movie was priceless. I liked the movie overall, I just wish they had explain what was actually going on. What was the deal with the girl/lady? And the creature. I have no idea. But fun either way!
If you don't like vulgar (very vulgar) humor- this movie is definitely not for you. She has a VERY dirty potty mouth.
The Invitation (2022)
If all you watched is the trailer, then you might say it is a good movie.
But no this was not a good movie. It was like a Lifetime romance "horror" movie that was definitely inspired by Ready or Not but with Vampires. It was so dull. So much time waiting for something to actually happen that wasn't "Romance" based. And the ending had potential but just made absolutely NO sense. Please tell me why she stabbed him through the heart and he aged but did not die. And then the two fighting girl vampires are stabbed through the stomach and they both turn to dust. This was shortly after the old lady said the only way to kill one was stake to the heart, cut off their head, or burn them. This is a pass from me.
Shining Girls (2022)
SO GOOD!
I did not find it to be slow, but I also love a slow burn, mystery type show/movie. This kept me intrigued and guessing the whole way and I loved how it ended.
Chronicle of a Serial Killer (2020)
Yes, because I always read my messages out loud as I type them to someone
Seriously, why don't they just have it written across the screen instead of having the actresses read them out loud awkwardly as they type. But that is a small part. I could tell in the opening scene that I was in for a bad movie. Watching the main cop lady act was cringeworthy. She was definitely not believable as a cop, either. Other than that, the movie was just so poorly written and acted, and the dialogue was ridiculous. I felt like I was watching a middle school play.
Also, what kind of cop takes a little kid in to see a deranged serial killer?? Such poor writing.
Euphoria: Trying to Get to Heaven Before They Close the Door (2022)
believe me when I say I LOVED season 1
But this one, I just don't know. It feels different. It's all the same characters, but it felt like a totally different show. The music was a huge part of season 1, building the intensity of the story. It was lacking from this episode which made it feel a little empty. I am hopeful it will get better. I do love Fezco though!
The Strings (2020)
The mundane life of a singer/songwriter
But why? An hour in and all that has happened is a bunch of long drawn out scenes of nothing. Just her life alone in this cabin doing everyday, mundane things. Not sure how that makes a movie plot. Imagine The Movie A Ghost Story, but without the emotion or story. It just goes back and forth between her staring into space, and writing music. At this point I just want to yell at the writer and director "WE GET IT! SHE'S LONELY AND SHE'S A SONG WRITER! CAN WE MOVE ON ALREADY?!?!?!?!?" But move on we did not. She performed no less than 5 (terrible) full length songs during the movie, and the acting is bad, the dialogue is bad, and her fake smoking is bad. This movie is just bad. This movie was aiming to be a slow burn, but it was just a slow because there was no burn. This was barely even a drama. Skip this one.
The Bewailing (2021)
Way too long for what it is
While it doesn't look or feel like some of the low budget movies usually do, it just goes on way too long. They tried to throw in some unnecessary drama, and dragged on a lot of the rest. 30 minutes easily could have been cut without losing anything. The acting wasn't great but wasn't terrible. Had some creepy/gross parts, but I would not watch it again.
Blood Pageant (2021)
Oh LORD!
Who is writing all the 10 and 9 star reviews for this movie?? Snoop was literally the only saving grace! Terrible acting, dialogue, plot, music- really it is pretty unwatchable, but I must be a glutton for punishment, because I watched the whole thing! :D :D :D :D.
The Stairs (2021)
Wow... What??
This movie really made no sense. When it first started with the grandpa and boy I could tell it was gonna be one of those cheesy acted movies. But then cut to 20 years later and the real cast comes in and it seemed to pick up and possibly become a fun and only slightly cheesy movie. Nope. Aside from a few funny moments before the first scare, that is really all it offered. Then comes the "scary' barefoot girl. And the witch huts. And the weird creepy guy in the woods. I was interested until this point. Except THESE WERE NEVER EXPLAINED!!!!! Huge flaw, as what was even the point?!?!? Because then the movie took a whole other direction, it's like they weren't sure what they wanted to do with the plot. The funniest and best character died first, and then the movie got super cheesy again. With the forced dialogue and cringy acting. The lighting in the woods was terrible. It was basically daylight all around them in the middle of the night. Then out of nowhere they try and force this emotional scene with the main guy about his brother, all while hiding from a monster in an RV and speaking at FULL VOLUME the whole time. Like they can't even speak in hushed tones while they are hiding?? :D :D I could not even take it seriously at this point. Not to mention the kid has zero reaction when he finds out he has been missing for 20 years, hasn't aged a day, and this was his old childhood friend all grown up. Right, and why did they monster need to break out of the door that the people shut, when it was HIS lair? It wasn't even locked, and he was literally just out ten minutes ago killing the other guy. And another thing, does the door open inward or outward, because it kept changing. Also, the kid said there were a bunch of monsters, so why did the stairs catch on fire when that ONE monster was set on fire? I could forgive the acting and dialogue a little if there weren't so many glaring plot holes and things that just made no sense. That's just bad writing.
Behind Her Eyes (2021)
Not what I was expecting!
Kept me guessing the whole time. Even when I thought I had it figured out, no wait! There's more! It was so good. I guess after reading the one star reviews, you have to have a bit more of an open mind to enjoy this. I thought it was great. I was never bored and could not stop watching. Great performances all around.
Triggered (2019)
What the actual ....
Ok i get this is satire and that the main girl is supposed to be annoying, but my GOD is she annoying. And not in a funny or cute way like I want to keep watching to see what happens. More like I want to punch her in the face. 35 minutes in and all it has been is her complaining about everything to everyone. But I managed to finish it. Horrific, over the top acting matched with terrible dialogue made for a tough watch. Do people actually enjoy this kind of crap?
Devil's Point (2014)
Why??
This movie is so bad. I can appreciate doing something on a very small budget. But even with a small budget you can write a good script, have good dialogue and decent acting. This one had none of that. I watched the whole thing hoping it would get better. Nope. Just bad all around. Anyone who rated this movie a 10 was Definitely involved in the making.
Lyle (2014)
What a waste
This movie was clearly going for a Rosemary Baby feel, poorly. At only an hour long thins movie drags. No real explanation to anything, and no real build in tension. Trying to go for an is she crazy or not only works if you give us something to work with. Which they don't. Minor things here and there that don't add up to how the main character is feeling and acting. Is there really a deal with the devil or has she just gone crazy with grief? We will never know, mostly because I think the writers don't even know. Skip this one and watch Rosemary's baby instead.
The Horror Network Vol. 1 (2015)
The worst. Is this even horror?
Each story worst than the last. The only one with any real horror elements was the Christmas one. But the rest were awful. Terrible acting in most and most had stories that went nowhere. The "Quiet" one wasn't all bad, but it was more like an episode of a kids horror show or something. Pass on this if you like horror anthologies. This one could possibly bore you to death. But maybe that's what they were going for.
Wounds (2019)
dumbest movie ever
I don't even know why this is classified as horror. It's basically just a long drawn out drama about a loser guy who wants to cheat on his girlfriend with a few "creepy" moments thrown in out of nowhere, that seem to lead nowhere and mean nothing. The end was dumb and just made me say "seriously?????"
St. Agatha (2018)
Just no
This movie was way too long for what it is. It dragged on and you think with all the visions and weird happenings it's some kind of satanic cult or something. No. They are just selling the babies for money. OK. And it's unwatchably gross in some parts. And some stupid choices made by the main character towards the end that kept making me think yeah right.
Second Act (2018)
This movie is just.... Weird.....
This movie never really even had a climax. It kind of just happened. All that emotion that is supposed to build in a movie like this, well it just fell flat. I am a Jlo fan and a fan of Milo (hello Gilmore girls!) but the performances just fell flat. Maybe because the chemistry between the two onscreen was poor. But the feelings for the characters in general also wasn't great. This wasn't a bad movie, but it wasn't a good one either. They broke up Jlo and her boyfriend before we even had a chance to like him or like them together. And that just HAPPENED. And then the melding of the plot of finding her long ago daughter that she gave up for adoption. When I realized that's what they were doing I actually said out loud, " Oh THAT's what they are doing with this movie?" with an eye roll. Ha. So cheesy. They just tried to put to much here and then rushed all the little details so it just ended with me feeling unsatisfied with it all.
Light as a Feather (2018)
ok i guess....
It's like final destination meets the craft meets pretty little liars. With cheesy dialogue that doesn't even give the acting a chance to be good. That being said, even though it's cheesy and not very good, it's like a train wreck I can't stop watching. But with 10 twenty minute long episodes in the first season it makes for a quick binge. But nothing really makes sense, and all the characters are really stupid and are constantly making stupid decisions that are so beyond frustrating.
Death Proof (2007)
UMMMM.... This movie is AMAZING!!!
I just watched this movie again last night and I had almost forgotten how amazing it is. I love Quentin, his mind is brilliant and he writes awesome dialogue that builds up to awesome gore. And this movie of course has both, With references to his other movies some awesome girl power. Definitely one of my fave Tarantino films (tied with Pulp Fiction and Django.) Tough call!!!
#Captured (2017)
The person who rated this movie a 10 was definitely involved i the making...
This movie is terrible. Beyond. And I enjoy B movies. The acting and dialogue were so bad, but on top of that it was just boring. It could have been shortened by about 45 minutes without losing anything of value. If you want a decent naughty online camera flick, check out CAM, and skip this one. Two thumbs down.
The Prodigy (2019)
Still undecided...
Let me just say that they tried REALLY hard with this one. Trying to put a new spin on an old story, Which sure, they did. But it was still predictable around every turn. Every little "twist" I saw coming from a mile away. At one point the main character makes a "realization" and I actually thought, you just NOW figured that out??? ha. I was intrigued through most of it, but got a little bored at the end as I had already figured out where they were going. So I will give it a five for a solid effort.
The Haunting of the Suicide House (2019)
This movie is laughable
This movie is bad. Another found footage film with bad/forced acting and terrible dialogue. I rolled my eyes sooooooooo many times. Luckily it is only an hour long so you'll at least get a few laughs if you don't turn it off first.
The Curious Creations of Christine McConnell (2018)
Yes, she's talented. But the show falls flat from there...
Starting with ehr three story house: first you cut this sheet cake in half, and then in half again. Stack them up and viola! you have this beautiful house! Yeah, not quite. Everything she makes is stunning. There's no doubt about that. But there was no intention of letting the audience in on the how to's of any of it through this platform. The acting was pretty bland as well, robotic even. Though I liked the puppets. I watched the whole thing because I'm a creative type and i love the macabre and was hoping to learn a thing or two. Well maybe I learned one thing. How to make a teacup out of chocolate. But the rest is: look what I made! now you how to add the finishing touches of the thing you will never learn how to make! Maybe it's because they tried to add so much to one short episode (three "tutorials" and 10+ minutes of puppet banter) and maybe a lot got edited out. But either way, it fell flat for me, aside from the beautiful imagery. Maybe she should just stick to her instagram?