Tales of Poe (2014)
1/10
Poetic justice that this bombed.
16 May 2022
Warning: Spoilers
Some stories can be switched from a Gothic era to modern times and not need any adjustments. Most of Edgar Allan Poe's stories require A period setting or at least a mystical atmosphere. It's easy to see why this ended up going directly to video, and has probably sold only 100 copies or so based on its intake. It is one of the most repulsive anthology horror films I have ever seen, disgusting and without motivation for even had been made. I have seen several adoptions of social stories, good and bad, and none have been as unnecessary and un-poetic as this one. Hammy performances of the worst kind dominates, with the murderess from "The Tell-Tale Heart" the worst culprit, a vamp of such repulsiveness, given absolutely no motivation, a completely unappealing succubus. The 1942 MGM short had more detail and artistic merit than this, and its conclusion destroys the point of what Poe was trying to do in his stories. His motivation was never to repulse, and that's all that this part of the film is all about.

For the second part, "Cask of Amontillado", there's the camp presence of former Village People star Randy Jones, and literally, you can't stop the horror. At least the visuals are stunning, surrounding the beautiful greenery around the estate, but the effort to make it surreal is not aided by the claustrophobic photography. The acting may be as bad as the first part, with characterizations completely vapid, but it's slightly campier so that means there are a few unintentional laughs, mainly at the idiotic characters expense. Jones seems to be trying to emulate singer Robert Goulet years after his death. Another character (Jones' vindictive wife) looks like Divine, Brenda Vaccaro and Lainie Kazan morphed together into one frauish nightmare, without their style or charisma, and details about the casting isn't surprising. Vincent Price, Joyce Jameson and Peter Lorre did this story better justice in 1962.

The third part, based upon the poem "Dreams", was one I was not familiar with, and It suffers from minimal dialogue even if the visuals are stunning, although after a while the stylistic filming becomes a bit too much. The use of original illustrations from "Alice in Wonderland" was a very good metaphor, but it takes forever for anything to happen. It becomes like a music video without a song, one lasting 45 minutes and becoming extremely gross after a while with the innards of it's female focus being pulled out. It takes a sick mind to come up with something like this, and that can describe all three filmmakers who participated in this travesty. The last laugh has to go to Bela lugosi's line from the 1935 version of "The Raven", where he shouts out, "Poe, you are avenged!" The reviews and reception of this film, shows that indeed, audiences will not take kindly to a poor rendition a literary classics.
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