Are You Here (2013)
1/10
Fails to be funny, serious, or moving in any way
11 July 2018
Warning: Spoilers
So much of this movie was horrendous. Owen Wilson's character Steve, our protagonist, is an unlikeable peeping-tom whose cliche playboy persona is so tired I almost fell asleep every time he was on screen. His character arc is meant to be about him growing up and learning responsibility. But, these changes are only motivated by the desire to have sex with his best friend's step-mom, Angela. His subsequent tantrum that she sleeps with his friend and not him reminded me of a child screaming "that's MY toy!" on the playground. Steve is certainly no Don Draper.

Amy Poehler's character is portrayed as a total stick in the mud, even though her dad's just died and she's going through hormone treatments and her behaviours were pretty understandable. Who wouldn't be mad that their step-mom showed up to their father's funeral in a see-through dress? Who wouldn't be pissed that their dad left their sibling WAY more money and assets in the will? Who in their right mind would want their brother's high as the stratosphere, dead-beat friend interjecting in private discussions about her father's will? Suuuuuch a buzzkill.

The real treat of this movie though is Angela, the aforementioned step-mother. She is meant to be seen as this earthy, loving woman who heals the men around her. But she only seems to do this with sex. And baking pies. Maybe Matthew Weiner should stick to directing shows about the 60s cause that time is a lot more in tune with his views on women. Owen Wilson yells at her toward the end of the movie that she has no responsibilities and just gets everything she wants because she's hot. This line is meant to be taken as super mean and uncalled for-but it's true. Maybe I'm a prude, but banging your step-son SHOULD be frowned upon.

More than that, the idea that having sex with his stepmom would help Ben's mental-health is absurd. And, the suggestion that once you start to take medication you can instantly get better and change your whole outlook and lifestyle is ridiculous.

And, in almost every scene something weird and unrealistic happened that pulled me out of the story. Examples: A prostitute calls and leaves a voicemail to confirm an appointment just like the dentist. Owen Wilson, a 50 year old man gets caught spying on his 20 something neighbour changing and she smiles and waves at him instead of calling the cops on this perv. Ben bites a child's cookie and the mother isn't weirded out.

This movie failed to make me care about a single character, failed to make me laugh a single time, failed to adequately use Jenna Fischer, and failed to leave any kind of impact other than disappointment.
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