User Reviews

My friend bought me this film because he knows I have a thing for Lindsay Lohan, so on the day of my birthday we sat down and watched I know who killed me, after reading the bad reviews i wasn't expecting much. This is the worst film i have seen in my life, don't watch this film ever, ever. Im not joking, we sat and laughed through the film and couldn't believe someone had made this film with the intention to make money, i honestly felt sick after watching the film, i am not even going to describe any scenes/plots i didn't like because i would just give you the film. I cannot believe how many good reviews there were on here, it makes me physically ill to think any one liked this joke of a film!!!

This really is a terrible movie. And I like terrible movies. This movie takes HUGE leaps of logic; I understand that there must be some suspension of disbelief, but it was too disjunctured. There are still scenes that I just don't understand, like the listing and showing of some girl named Fiona with the other missing girls, the difficult to discern jumps through the timeline, and all the red herring, including the lawn boy, the "cuts happen" guy, the police psychiatrist, and the "I keep forgetting to plug it in" leg problem. This movie revolved around a chance to showcase Lindsay Lohan as a sex symbol without her nudity (much like The New Guy did with Eliza Dushku, but without the entertaining plot line). It was respectable writing to make Dakota Moss so bold, especially with the language, but it just wasn't enough.

Realistically, with as inundated as the television/movie-viewing public is about forensic evidence, investigation, and biology (the worm-in-biology-class scene? Come on...), a movie has to at least seem intelligent.

On a side note, I was desperately hoping that everything would be pulled nicely together by the guy on the bus being the boyfriend/brother of "Fiona", which would be the girl Dakota found in the glass coffin (Dressed to Kill was one of my favorite movies). Unfortunately, believing in "stigmatic twins" is the final leap over "Lohan is crazy", which might have turned into a decent ending.

1. Unbelievably, it isn't a Writer's Guild violation to complete a screenplay on used toilet paper.

2. Bloody stripper poles simply cannot be a turn on, but, the show must go on.

3. In this case, yes, you would have to be a rocket scientist to understand this movie.

4. Even the Smurf movies didn't have this much blue in it.

5. Fun medical fact #1: hand sawed off? Finger mysteriously detached? Wrap a towel around the stub and sometimes hold up above heart until the pain disappears and you're okay again. NOTE: sometimes two towels are needed.

6. Fun medical fact #2: Being buried alive isn't all that bad. The average stigmata twin can survive hours with little to no air. Unfortunately, this really only applies to stigmata twins, so yeah, don't try this in your own backyard.

7. When your daughter thinks she's a twin, prove her wrong with a ready-to-play video of just her in your womb before birth.

8. One of the Lohans states "Hospitals are for rich people" when she refuses assistance for her severed finger. Yeah, rich people and idiots that don't know they help anyone regardless of wealth.

9. Wish my phone battery lasted hours after its low-battery alarm alerts me like the more crucial battery did in this movie.

10. It's doubtful the best way to announce a classmate has been recovered dead over the PA and repeatedly is: "Jennifer Toland's body was found."

11. Also, don't ever, EVER, ask a teacher for details on your classmate's "found body." She honestly may not have too much more to say than "Jennifer Toland's body was found" after the 1½ seconds of information she was given.

12. Maybe, in 2007, the world wasn't ready for the real Lindsay Lohan meltdown. No, not even with two Lohans.

13. And speaking of which, this is the third time Lohan played two characters in the same film after The Parent Trap and Freaky Friday. This probably explains a lot of her real life problems.

14. Flashback to The Room and Birdemic with the split-second finding of Jerrod in a busy crowd when one of the Lohans' been wished luck in tracking him down.

15. If only this took place during summer vacation because you'd one helluva story/movie to tell the following year.

16. They accomplished Movie Cliché #158, or "set up a murder-mystery with tons of oh-sooo suspicious characters," so well, you can't take your eyes off that devilish little hairless creature of a pet they have and yet, never see again.

17. Mercifully, through the quicksand of a script, there were enough unintentionally hilarious scenes and facial expressions to at least keep the viewer awake.

SPOILER ALERT! I can't even rate this schlock. Quite possibly the worst film I think I've ever seen. If Lindsay Lohan's antics this week don't spell personal and professional suicide, then this film certainly will. The plot is laughable (the audience actually laughed during the "suspenseful" parts); the dialogue lame; and the acting wooden. Imagine "The Parent Trap" with blood, gore and mutilation! Here's the spoiler: The piano teacher did it, a fact which becomes apparent about 10 minutes after he walks out of camera shot. I cannot actually believe that Lohan read this script and thought this would be a good career move for her. Bonus: we get to see her smoke, drink, curse, pole dance and have simulated sexual intercourse (it's rated R). In short, this film is an insult to the movie-going public, and I hope the studio has to eat all costs associated with it. There is one positive thing I have to say: this would be a great midnight audience participation flick. There's so much potential there!!

I'm going to start this off with an unpopular take. This is not a bad movie. When I first met my wife, she used to tell me how much she loved it and I thought she was crazy. Surely, everyone online that went out of their way to destroy it had to be right, right?

Wrong. Go with me on this alternative universe logic - if Lindsey Lohan were a disgraced movie star in 1967 instead of 2007, she would have gone to Italy to make movies for directors like Bava, Argento, Martino and Antonio Margheriti. She would have been in the same company as Anita Ekberg, Florinda Bolkan, Elke Somer and even Edwige Fenech.

The film has all the hallmarks of giallo: a serial killer is abducting, torturing and killing young women in the suburb of New Salem. An evening of fun for Aubrey Fleming (Lohan) turns into weeks of torture as she wakes up bound and gagged on an operating table, her hands deep in dry ice.

The FBI Task Force has already given up hope of finding the killer, but a driver discovers Aubrey on a deserted road in the middle of the night. To the shock of her parents, she declares that she's really a stripper named Dakota Moss and has no idea who Aubrey Fleming is. And then she realizes that she's missing her hand and half of her leg.

At this point, you're either going to give up on this movie or dive in. I advise diving right in.

While the police, the doctors and her parents believe that this is all PTSD, Aubrey/Dakota insists that she is not who anyone thinks she is. Things get weirder when FBI agents discover a story on Aubrey's laptop about a girl with an alter ego named Aubrey. And DNA confirms that Dakota really is Aubrey. This inversion of identity is key to the main tenets of classic giallo.

Dakota has a theory of her own: She's Aubrey's twin sister and her injuries are Corsican Brothers-like (or Tomax and Xamot, if you prefer) sympathetic wounds as she experiences the plight of her symbiotic sibling.

Sure, her mother has a pregnancy ultrasound that shows only one fetus. But Dakota confronts her father (or Aubrey's, stay with me) as she believes that her mother lost that child soon after its birth and that she and Aubrey were the twin children of a crack addict named Virginia Sue Moss. Aubrey was taken to live in comfort city mouse style while she stayed with Moss, trailer park mouse style. The complication? Virginia Sue Moss was yet another character from Aubrey's short story.

Richard Roeper claims that this is the worst movie of the 2000s, calling the film "a ridiculous thriller (minus the thrills)" and saying that it's filled with a" nonsensical plot that grows sillier by the second, tawdry special effects, heavy-handed symbolism that's big on electric-blue hues and mechanical performances are all culprits as far as the title's concerned." Has Roeper even seen a giallo? Because reading that sentence makes me want to watch this movie all over again!

Back to the movie: Dakota starts to see visions of the killer slicing up his captive which draws her to the cemetery. As she investigates the grave of another victim, Aubrey's friend Jennifer, she finds a blue ribbon from a piano competition. Aubrey was a noted pianist and there's a note attached from her (and Jennifer's) piano teacher, Douglas Norquist. As her father (or Aubrey's, look, it's not a giallo if you don't get confused) looks on, she declares, "I know who killed me."

That's because the ribbon says, "Blue Ribbons Are For Winners, Never Settle For The Red, Rest In Peace, Douglas." It's a metaphor for the lives of the twins: Aubrey is the blue chipper with a boyfriend that loves her, good grades, plenty of friends and a bright future. Dakota works in the red light district and faces a life of poverty.

Without any police backup - again, this happens all the time in giallo - they confront Norquist. Daniel is killed before Aubrey leaves the safety of the car and enters the house. She fights Norquist, cutting off his hand, before she's tied up. He asks her why she returned after he buried her alive before she frees herself and kills him. She heads into the woods where she digs up Aubrey, verifying that she was not insane and had been right all along. Then, she lies on the ground with her twin sister.

Some of the few critics who liked this movie compared it to Brian DePalma or David Lynch films. Sure. Or you could go right to the source - Italy.

If you replaced the score of the film (that said, I love that The Sword and The Melvins are heard in this film) with some insane synth or orchestral music (someone get Claudio Simonetti, Piero Umiliani or Morricone on the line), if you made the homes space age lounges filled with improbable furniture and if you had more than one scene of Lohan stripping (any of the sex in this movie is honestly the unsexiest sex ever, they should have really studied Sergio Martino movies), this movie would fit perfectly into my DVD collection between Hatcher for the Honeymoon and Inferno. Who am I kidding? It's on my shelf already!

This is not the first time Lohan played twins on film, thanks to starring in the remakes of Freaky Friday and The Parent Trap. Again, this is perfect giallo casting - not to mention pure exploitation - showing her gone to seed as two twins who couldn't be more different.

However, this was not an easy movie to film for director Chris Sivertson, as Lohan had an appendix operation during shooting. Plus, there were times when she would not show up at all - necessitating a body double be used to film the end of the movie. Even worse, she was followed by paparazzi throughout the shoot and some of them are still in the background of a few shots!



There are giallo techniques used throughout the film, such as a neon sign outside the strip club that foreshadows Dakota's injuries and the fact that Bava-esque blue and red lighting determines which character is on screen between Aubrey and Dakota.

While so many decry this film for not making any sense, if you've made it through any number of classics (sure, the director claims Hitchcock as a primary influence, but you can say that he's the well from which all giallo flows) like The Bird With the Crystal Plumage or Deep Red or Lizard in a Woman's Skin, you're going to be just fine. The world was just ready to devour Lindsey Lohan and this film would be its sacrificial lamb. Oh if only there were an Italian film industry for her to turn to and appear alongside Ivan Rassimov!

"I Know Who Killed Me" is about a young college student named Aubrey Fleming (Lindsay Lohan), who disappears one night while going out with some friends. She is found on the side of road weeks later, still alive, with her hand and leg viciously amputated by her captor. But when she awakens in the hospital, Aubrey claims to be somebody else... a woman named Dakota Moss, a rough-living stripper who says that she is being mistaken as Aubrey, and that the real Aubrey Fleming is still in mortal danger. Aubrey's worried parents try and uncover the truth, while Dakota tries to convince others that she isn't Aubrey... but is Aubrey really just pretending to be someone else? Is she suffering from a psychological problem triggered by her kidnapping and torture? Or could Dakota really perhaps be a real person? Watch and find out.

After seeing the trailer for this movie, I knew I had to see it. I'm not a fan of Lohan particularly, but this film looked good. Unfortunately, it has its ups and downs, but overall I thought it was a pretty good horror/thriller. The plot is original in its essential form, but does contain some clichés here and there - all things considered though, this is an original premise that deals with certain scenarios not often seen in cinema (if at all). It's a mystery film, and it did do a very solid job at keeping the viewer guessing. The expected twists and turns take place as well, and I thought for the most part the plot twists were fairly well thought-out. You don't really know what to think or expect for the first hour or so, as the story is pieced together linking Aubrey and Dakota, and whether or not they are in fact one person. I did become a little confused at moments, and there were a few plot holes (which I expected considering the complex storyline), but overall I didn't see anything that affected the course of the movie. Things pieced together fairly nicely before anything became too much of a problem, but there were some holes that needed filling.

Another thing that succeeds in this movie is the cinematography, it was really beautifully shot. Color (mainly the color blue) plays a vast amount of significance in the story, and while it is there for a purpose, it almost seems too obvious because the color pops up continuously in practically every scene. Still, beautiful cinematography and some stylish editing get good points in my book, and this movie had both. Even in the sexual stripteases done by the Dakota character (where Lindsay's body is the main focus), the color use and cinematography shine. Good soundtrack as well that plays along with the flow of the film quite well, and really adds to the movie's energy. I was surprised at the amount of violence in this movie, but don't dismiss it if you are thinking it's something along the lines of a blatant torture flick, because this movie has a lot more to it than just that, unlike the recent trend of horror flicks that are nothing but one big gory torture show. "I Know Who Killed Me" manages to pack some suspense and tension that are vital to a good horror and/or thriller, and there were quite a few really scary scenes. Strangely enough, there is some unexpected humor to be found in the movie as well. One scene in particular was really quite funny, and while I'm not sure if it made the film less believable or was in it's favor, I know it made me laugh a few times.

As for the acting, I think a lot of people are slamming this movie unfairly because of it's lead actress, Lindsay Lohan. Whatever the reason that some may despise her, I'll put it like this - if it were another actress playing the lead, people wouldn't be as harsh as they are. Honestly, I think Lindsay gave one of the best performances of her career (so far) in this movie. Her previous films mainly consist of pointless teeny-bopper trash, so I respect her for doing something with a little more depth, and while her acting and delivery is a bit flat on occasion, she carries this movie well. Julia Ormand and Neil McDonaugh play her concerned and confused parents, and both do a good job in their roles too. As for the big secret ending (which I won't reveal here), I thought it was fitting. The showdown between Lindsay and the killer, while a bit contrived, was pretty scary, as was the villain. The explanation behind the Aubrey/Dakota mystery was really strange, and I wasn't expecting it to turn out the way it did, but I think that's a good thing. It may be a bit of a stretch for some because of the obscure subject (and the revelation seemed to kind of come out of nowhere), but I liked it for being different and not what I'd normally expect in a twist ending.

Overall, "I Know Who Killed Me" is a different but original horror/thriller. Cinematography was excellent, the storyline (while a little problematic at times) was original and very intriguing, there are some pretty creepy scenes, and the big plot twist was different from the norm. The acting wasn't that bad either, don't judge the movie by it's lead actress - I'm not a big fan of her either, but I found her to be fairly solid here. Recommended to horror and thriller fans if you're interested in a bit of a strange but nonetheless interesting movie. It's got a few plot holes and problems, but as I see it, the good outweighed the bad, and I was happy with the two hours I spent at the theater. 7/10.

Zero Stars (out of 4) By Aaron Dumont

Now, I would give you all a real, labored-over (actually, not really) review of this compost-bin-rate-Inland Empire, but I cannot due to a) me not being able to find sinister-sounding enough words that mean "horrible" within by trusty thesaurus, b) me not being able to pay attention to the actual plot due to distractions such as shameless self-promotion and enough tramp-ness to make even the most pitiful of nighttime-dwelling Hilton-wannabes look like Witherspoon's Tracy Flick, and c) because no one, not even my time-wasting self, would even dignify this movie with a full length review. Dedicating more than 10 words to this cinematic equivalent of tear gas is going to a dark place, losing an important part of your sanitary life. Oh, wait...